Bad Day in Ame
by image of nothing
Summary: Hard work. Beautiful women. And sobriety. Are Shikamaru Nara's worst enemies. As a private detective, hired to track down a cheating lover. He'll have to deal with all three. And a village that never stops crying. A noir tale Warning. Alternate Universe. Character Shipping inside. Guns instead of kunai. Possible misogynistic POV.


******A/N: To set the mood. Change the contrast to white words and black background. Turn on some hard jazz. Pour yourself some bourbon. Buy a ceiling fan and have it turn very slowly.**

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******Bad Day in Ame**

******Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah naruto. blah, blah, blah kishimoto. blah, blah, blah lawsuit**

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**Bad Day**

**Chapter One**

It was a dark and stormy night...and it's such a drag...

August twenty-second. Rain is pouring down, like the sky had a leaky pipe. I sip on a cigarette and watch the smoke hover.

I had to make do with watching smoke. Since the sky, was so ugly today. The fact that I can't take up my hobby, of cloud watching, is annoying.

I'm Shikamaru Nara. I'm a private detective. I'm not the greatest sleuth in the world and that's the way I like it. Trouble comes knocking too often, when people think you're reliable.

My job isn't usually very hard. It's just me, catching a cheating spouse, in the act. Or searching for people dodging debts. It's troublesome, but easy.

I work alongside the Konoha Military Police Force, sometimes. I let them do the heavy lifting, though. I don't hunt down serial killers or chase escaped criminals.

It's a job, most like being a cloud. I make my own time. Follow wherever the target takes me. And just generally hover, without being noticed.

I didn't take this job to be a hero. Just to do whatever I wanted. Most time, I can just take a seat somewhere, around my target and nap, till they slipped up. I think I'll take a nap, now.

I kick my feet up and relax on my desk. The sound of thunder is very annoying. But I can power through it, in a nap emergency.

I'm not getting any cases today. I probably wouldn't accept any today, either. You'd have to be crazy to be out in this weather. The rain sounds like gunfire.

I stretch and get ready to sleep. But then I see a figure in glass, on the other side of my office door. The door clicks open...

...And then she walked in...

A sandy blonde-haired babe, with four ponytails and the feeling of trouble, rolling off her. She places her soaking wet umbrella by the door.

"Shikamaru Nara, right?" She asked.

She starts walking up to my, desk. Her curvy hips sway, with every little step, towards me. She stops and places a delicate hand, on her thin waist

"Temari. A pleasure" Temari makes her introduction. Her voice sounds like smooth velvet.

"I'm not working today..." I responded, from my lounging position.

"I think my boyfriend is cheating on me, with another women. Two even" Temari explained. Ignoring my words. "I need you, to find out, for sure"

"...Lady, I'm not-" I tried to say.

"Got a light?" Temari interrupted me, taking out a cigarette.

I sighed, but complied anyway. She places the smoke stick in a jade cigarette holder, and leans in for me to light it. She was in the shadows before, but now I could see her up close.

She was a beautiful dame, alright. She wore a black draw-string evening dress. Backless, with a slit down the side. She has fish net stockings on her long legs. And a golden pair of sandals.

She was without a doubt, a girl of wealth and taste. Everything she's wearing, looks more expensive than everything I own. Especially that silk scarf around her neck.

How can a doll like her, have boyfriend problems. You can only find girls as pretty as her, in magazines. Those green eyes of her's, stared right through me.

All she wore, was lipstick. Not eyeshadow. Not blush. Not mascara. Just ruby red lipstick. It didn't even enhance her beauty. It was just an invitation to her lips.

She's the kind of woman, other men would kill over. Exactly the kind of woman, I try to avoid. A woman like her, is way more work than I'm willing to commit to.

She pulls away and looks around my office. I noticed the symbol for Sunagakure on her scarf. Two entire countries of Detectives and she chose me of all people.

"...I'm really, not taking any cases, today" I tell her.

"My boyfriend's name is Sasuke Uchiha" Temari ignored me, again.

She took a seat upon my desk. She was getting pretty comfortable in my workspace, but I didn't voice my complaints. It's too much trouble. And this girl has too much fire.

I cough a bit and turn away from her. My eyes landed on her shapely behind, for a moment. I wasn't a gentlemen. But eyeing up a woman? I considered myself better than that.

"There are other detectives around" I say. Plead more likely. "Ones much better than me" That was the honest to god truth.

"I chose you, because of your relation to the women, he might be cheating with" Temari stated. Coolly letting out a puff of smoke.

"My relation?" I raise an eyebrow and put out my cigarette.

"Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno" Temari Spoke. "You and Ino's families are close. You know Sakura, as her friend"

Oh no. The second most troublesome woman, in my life. And her best friend. Get those two firecrackers together and they play off each other, until other people turned to cinder.

"Too troublesome! Sorry lady, I have to decline" I say to her.

"...Because Ino's your friend?..." Temari asks me.

"...Because Ino's sharp. I'll just fail, right away" I admit.

I'm not captain morality of the honesty brigade. But if I found out, Ino was being cheated on. I'd feel obligated to tell her. And she'd feel obligated to kill me. Too troublesome.

"Your friend doesn't seem to think, you'd fail" Temari replied to me.

"Wha?..." She caught me off guard.

"Choji Akimichi. Recommended you" Temari stated. "I have him, working for me, as well"

So she had my best buddy on the case, as well. I usually worked alone, because my work was so easy. But whenever needed I a partner. He was the man, I called on.

"He should be enough then" I say reaching into my desk drawer. "He's reliable. Unlike me" I take out a bottle of scotch.

Choji Akimichi was a detective like me. Kind, compassionate, and honest. The 'get-your-cat-out-a-tree' and 'help-your-grandma-cross-the-street' type of fellow.

I take out a glass and grab some ice from the bucket, I keep under my desk. I carry a loaded pistol like a good detective should. I carry a scotch to keep myself loaded, like a lazy man should.

"He can get the job done" I say, picking up my drink.

"Apparently not" Temari replies.

Before I can take a sip, she takes the glass from my hand, and drinks it herself. She finishes the scotch in one gulp. She places the empty glass on my desk. Her cherry lipstick, staining the side of it.

"He needs...your help on this" Temari said, puffing from her cigarette. "...And you need the money"

"And what makes you think that?" I ask.

"He told me about an incident last week" Temari smirked. "You, him and someone named Rock Lee were in a bar three nights ago..."

Oh crap. That incident. Rock Lee, plus alcohol, equals my paycheck being given away, like somebody else's birthday present. I have to pay a fine, for the damages, Lee caused.

"I've...got that taken care of..." I tell her, awkwardly. It was a lie, but I was running out of reasons to get her to leave.

"Your time is running out" Temari says. She removes her cigarette from the holder. She smoked it down to the filter. "You have to pay the fine or..."

"Ugh!" I sigh. She was going to say, the dreaded words.

"...Or commit to three days of community service" Temari finished.

I sigh again. I wish they just gave me a 'go-to-jail' option instead. I would rather do anything other than community service. But compared to having to investigate Ino...

"Sorry lady. I'll just grab a stick and pick up trash, instead" I resign myself to three days of manual labor. I might be able to take the hard, out of that hard work.

"Choji thought you might say that" Temari reached into her purse and placed something on my desk. "He said to give to you. That you would get the meaning?"

I focus my unfortunately sober gaze upon the item. I can't contain the small smile it brings to my face. A folded up bag of barbecue potato chips.

I look inside the bag. One lonely, untouched chip remains. I look to Temari, who simply shrugs. I just ran out of reasons to get her to leave.

"What's the job, again?" I ask her. I can't believe myself.

"My boyfriend. Sasuke Uchiha. Find out, if he's cheating on me or not" Temari restated.

"With Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno?..." I ask, feeling tired already. "...You're not sure which one?"

"Could be both?" Temari said. Not sounding, at all surprised. "Here's his picture"

She reaches into her purse and hands me a photo of her hubby. I glance over it and could see why she didn't seem shocked, by thoughts of his infidelity.

Sasuke Uchiha was the kind of handsome, other guys can talk about without thinking they're playing for the other team. He's just so good-looking, that to not just admit it, was being petty.

With his looks he could have any woman he wanted. Superstar good looks, is exactly Ino's type. Who am I joking. Every woman's type.

"Only two girls huh?" I snark to her.

"Actually...there's a girl named Karin, I think you should look out for her, as well..." Temari said to me, without a hint of irony.

"...I was only joking..." I sigh. More work being piled on.

"Also there's a guy..." Temari had the gall to continue. "Suigetsu Hozuki is his name. Supposedly, they just work together but..."

She just let that sentence hang there. I can fill in the blanks just fine. Three girls and one guy. Handsome guys don't bring much trouble. But when they do...

"Here is Karin's picture..." She hands me another photo. "I didn't know about her, until your friend started looking into her"

I take a good look at Karin. Attractive. Red hair. Red eyes. She somehow managed to make wearing glasses, look intimidating. I sincerely hope it's not her.

"Any idea, where I can find this Sasuke Uchiha?..." I ask. Reluctantly.

"Choji, followed all four of them to Amegakure" Temari answered.

"Oh god!" I groan.

The weather was terrible today. But it's just one day, out of a million sunny ones in Konoha. Word is, it never stopped raining in Amegakure. Ever.

"This couldn't wait until the weather was nicer, here?" I ask.

Well, I whined, more like it. But, if I have to go the rainiest place in the world. I'd like to see some good weather before I go. That too much to ask.

"Tomorrow is my birthday..." Temari lowers her head. Her voice becomes somber.

"...Happy birthday..." I mumble. But I really do, mean it. Poor girl.

"Ame is a full day away" Temari continues. "He says it's business, but..."

Here comes that lingering but, again...Ino and Sakura are both in Ame, at the same time Sasuke is. It's not solid proof, but it raises some eyebrows.

"The thought of my boyfriend, skipping my birthday for those bimbos..." Temari chewed on her lip.

She was by far, the coolest person to walk into my office about infidelity. But there was still anger bubbling beneath the surface. Her feelings tug on my heart.

I know it's biased of me. But I always got more invested in the 'man cheating on woman' cases. Than the other way around. I just think that you should go with one woman, at any time.

A man dating two women, is like taking on a second job. Not to mention having to sneak around, is just inviting drama to come knocking. Or maybe I'm jealous of the heartbreakers, who can do it...nah.

Two timing is just being greedy. Especially with the pretty ones like Temari. And even Ino, if correct. It's just, not respectful to the ladies.

"Ino and Sakura, leave together?" I asked.

I might be able to cross one off the investigation if Ino and Sakura are together. This Sasuke couldn't be enough of a player to trick both of them, together could he.

"I'm afraid, I don't know, detective" Temari answered.

"Oh boy" I sigh and grumble. I'll get the details from Choji, somehow.

I stand up, grab my trenchcoat and my hat off the rack. I take my gun out of my desk and holster it. I've never needed it. But keeping a move, in your back pocket is shōgi one-o-one.

Temari stands up from my desk and smiles graciously at me. The frown on my face twitches a bit, but otherwise, I keep my cool. I almost felt like smiling back. Pretty girls, really mess with you.

"So...you'll keep me posted. Won't you, Shikamaru Nara?" Temari asked.

"Yeah, yeah" I grumble.

I knew she wasn't telling me everything. But in the case of cheaters, they never really want to reveal everything. Hopefully, I can finish this, without dealing with love triangle drama.

"Your friend Choji, will be waiting for you at the entrance of Ame" Temari said.

She picks up her Umbrella. I open the door for her. She steps in the doorway and stops to stare at me. She's far closer than I'm comfortable with. With a smile I'm not comfortable with.

"You haven't actually asked about payment, you know" Temari said.

I hate to say it. But her lips mesmerize me as they move. I already made my plans on marrying an average woman. But chicks like Temari, can really skew your priorities.

"...I'll settle it with Choji, when I find him..." I sigh. After she's gone, I'll shake myself back to reality.

"Hmph...Escort me out?..." Temari said.

She made it sound like a question, but without me even replying, she wrapped her arms around mine, and started walking. I grabbed my own Umbrella before she dragged me away from my office.

We walk down the stairs together. I pray, none of my neighbors see us. For someone worried about being cheated on. Temari wasn't shy about walking so close to another man.

We go outside and I carry the umbrella over her head. We walk in silence. I think to ask her questions about coming here, from Suna. But I hold my tongue.

None of my clients pay me to investigate them. And if I can see that they're not criminals, I won't bother to. Temari here, is dangerous, but only in the way that all attractive women are.

And more so. It's too much trouble, to try and speak over the thunder. I hold the umbrella more over Temari than myself. I'm not classy. But, I can at least do that.

Besides. Temari is dressed more for ballroom dancing than being in this monsoon. She didn't even bring a coat. Temari is pretty much relying on me to protect her from the rain.

My thoughts turn to Amegakure. Smack dab between Sunagakure, Iwagakure, and Konohagakure. It's the place where, the three countries go, when they want to war. But don't want to mess up their own homes.

We walk together, to the edge of Konoha. There's someone waiting on us. An older man, carrying an umbrella. His head wrapped in cloth. A sheet covering the left side of his face.

Temari separates from me. I almost feel sad, when she does. Walking around with a pretty girl on your arm. Must be how attractive, successful people feel.

"Hello, Baki" Temari greets him.

"Ma'am" Baki grunts.

Temari walks out from under my umbrella and stands next to Baki. Baki ensures not a drop of rain touches Temari. He looks rough, but I can nearly feel the loyalty rolling off of him.

Him, treating Temari like a duchess, Is intriguing. But none of my business. I turn around and walk back to my office building. I have to make arrangements for travel.

I stand under a street light and light up another cigarette. I look around, dreary-eyed. Tomorrow the weather will be nice, again. But I won't get to see it.

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I arrived Amegakure in just a little under a day. I'm standing in a puddle right now. I look towards the rainy sin of industrialization awaiting me.

Amegakure. It's worse than I imagined. Everything is dull metallic gray. Steel pipes in every nook and cranny. And skyscrapers, on top of skyscrapers.

And of course, the constant rain, hitting me in the face. Konoha's sky was ugly. But Ame's sky, looked angry. Like heaven, blackened the clouds, so it wouldn't have to look at this place.

It was daytime, but you wouldn't know it, by looking up. In Amegakure; the sunlight was afraid of strangers and the shadows here, all know you.

I can't get over how different this place is, compared to the peaceful setting of Konoha. Ame looked to be from the future. A bad future, where the rain washes away your soul.

I wasn't the cheeriest person ever, but Ame was just bleak. Ame was a war-torn place. With lots of refugees, calling it their home. Shame that they have to.

Even the ground under my feet, is fake. Ame is like a gigantic bridge, with a village on it. Rivers run through every inch of this place. A raincoat is required to live here.

I tried smoking, to take my mind off the dullness of Ame. But the rain would always put it out. Looks like I'm going to be a little healthier, during my stay here.

I decide to busy myself, with predicting how this little case will turn out. I can pretend, the case is half over, if I can predict what's going on.

Ino, Sakura, Karin and Sasuke are all in Ame together, at the exact same time. And Suigetsu was an unknown element. I hope he stays that way.

Prediction one. Sasuke is seeing all three chicks and getting away with it, because he's just that smooth. Only Temari has a clue about the cheating.

Prediction two. Ino is suspicious about him cheating. But doesn't act on it, because of how good-looking Sasuke is. She does not know about Temari.

Prediction three. All three girls, know about each other and this whole case, is a powder keg ready to go off. With me, as the lighter.

Prediction four. No one is cheating on anyone. Temari is just paranoid and everything is coincidence...Forget it. That theory never happens. It's just me hoping.

I'd have to meet up with Choji and get his side of things, before I could verify any of my thoughts. But I sincerely hope it's the first prediction. It's the simplest one.

This case will be much more troublesome, if Ino is seeing him and is suspicious of cheating too. She knows I'm a detective. She's smart enough to put two and two together. And she'll beat me up, the second, she does.

"Argh!" I groan. I just stepped in another, even deeper, puddle. My thought process is ruined.

This weather was annoying. The noise the rain made, as it hit the metal tubes running throughout this place, sound like laughter. Laughter at my expense.

Not helping the laughter theory is the decorum. Why does Ame insist on having a bunch of faces sticking out of their buildings. The faces are either angry or sticking their tongue out.

I spot a diner to my left and decide to go in. I want to get out this rain and any place that serves food is bound to have seen Choji around.

I walk in and hate it. It's as somber and metallic inside the diner, as it is everywhere else outside. I smell food cooking, but don't see Choji anywhere.

I take off my hood and walk up to the counter and take a seat. It was a long trip and I may as well grab a bite, while I have the time.

"What can I get you?" An old man with a thick mustache asks me.

"...Grilled mackerel, with a side of kelp..." I replied. My favorite. Maybe treating myself, will make me feel better.

"Coming right up!"

He rips the page from his pad and places it on the window ceil leading to the kitchen in the back. You would think a diner would have a pretty girl tending people's orders.

Something to draw people in. I look around. This diner is almost lifeless. Maybe three or four people. All eating by themselves with their heads down.

"You seen anyone around here named Choji Akimichi?" I asked. "Long brown hair. Husky. Swirl marks on his cheeks"

"Can't say that I have..." The old man, told me.

"Haugh...got a bathroom around here?..." I give up the search for now. I need to drain the lizard.

"Round back. Outside"

Damn. What Kinda diner doesn't have a bathroom on the inside. With a sigh, I get up and leave the diner. I trudge through a wet alley, into the back lot.

I look at the back of the building for a doorway with a bathroom sign. But I don't see one. I turn around and...I find a lonely portable toilet, just few feet away.

I'm reluctant to even bother. But I had to use it and the only other place to take cover from the rain was back at the diner. I step inside, with a tired sigh.

There's a dim overhead light. A horrid smell. And a feeling of imprisonment, in a tiny plastic coffin. But I brought the last one, in with me.

A loud knock on the door interrupts me, as I handle my business. I ignore it, hoping whoever is outside, goes away. Another loud knock comes. Annoying me.

"Occupied!" I say in irritation. The Knocking continues. "I said, it's occupi-"

I nearly trip, as the porta-potty starts rocking. I grab on to each side and brace myself. As the toilet rocks, even harder. Are you kidding me right now. Is this jackass really gonna tip this thing ov-

"UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!"

The portable toilet is now on its side. With me inside of it. It is the most horrible experience of my life. The shit of uncountable lives is attempting a meet-and-greet with my face.

I kick open the door, roll out of it and stand. My gun, is in my hand and my eyes are darting around, for a culprit. This is the most worked up, I've ever been.

Lazy, though I may be. I don't care who you are. You flip a portable toilet, with me inside. Even I'll come out shooting first and asking questions later.

...There's no one around...I holster my gun and calm myself. Did not take a deep breath to do so because...Ugh. When I complained about Ame's color, this isn't what I wanted in exchange.

I look around again, for a bit. It's just me and my shadow in this dank alley. Nothing, but the sound of raindrops, on my head. I didn't like Ame before. Now, I hate it.

I start walking back around to the diner. I spot a nearby dumpster. I stuff my repulsive raincoat in it. Now there is nothing blocking the rain from soaking me.

I only thought the rain sounded like laughter before. Now I say that this place certainly laughing at me. Or at least one person is.

After turning the corner, I stop a moment. Someone is sitting in the alley, in the rain. I can tell it's a woman by the shape of her body. Her legs, in particular.

She's strangely, not wearing a raincoat like most of the populace. And instead is using an umbrella. Her face is obscured by it. I see flashes of red hair.

"Bad day?" She says to me.

"..." I'm not in a talkative mood.

The girl stands up and I see her face clearly. It's the girl from the picture. Karin. She looks me up and down. The look she gets on her face, only makes me feel worse.

"Looks like you could use a shower..." Karin states. Scrunching up her face.

Karin reminds me a little bit of Temari and Ino. But I could see, she was much worse. I could feel her attitude from where I was standing. Her glare burned me.

Karin looked like the poster girl for all the attractive women, I'm afraid of. Her red hair and eyes, like a warning sign. Her small black shorts, looked painted on.

Her thigh highs looked tighter than necessary. And her bad attitude was seeping from her pores. This chick, looks more hostile than I'm ready for.

"...You happen to see the 'guy' who knocked over that porta-potty?" I asked. My tone; accusatory.

"You want to shower or not?" Karin snapped back at me. She either just ignored my question...or answered it.

While I certainly contemplated the merits of taking out my gun. I can think of Forty ways the consequences of leaving a girl, dead in an alleyway. Would bite me in the ass.

"...Yes..." I answer.

"Yes, what?" Karin shot back at me.

"...Yes, I would like a shower. Please!" I repeat. What were the gun options, again?

"hmph! Follow me" Karin started walking ahead.

I stuff my hands in my pockets and follow her. The rain is hitting my head, like the sky was using it for a drum. It was probably a mistake, letting my target escort me like this.

But dear god, did I smell awful. Whether she knew about me and was leading into some kind of trap. I didn't care. As long as I got clean first.

I thought about the food I ordered, back at that diner. But I know they wouldn't let me back in, they way was right now. Choji wasn't there anyway.

I just look ahead to Karin. I follow in her every footstep. She never looks back to see if I'm following or not. She never says a word. I think she's doing me a favor by staying quiet.

We walked and walked and walked...and walked. Amegakure was just the worst. Every second step is a puddle. And there's a terrible ventilation sound everywhere.

And all the water sloshing about. There are gutters on every building. The sound of water flushing down grates, is all around me. Every roof is dripping.

I'm thankful, when we finally make it to her apartment building. I follow her up the stairs...and keep following her. Karin just keeps placing one foot, after the other and I follow.

I started off counting the stairs. I lost track after eighty. I look to Karin above me instead. I stare at her for a while. The phrase 'are we there yet' is stuck in my throat.

Oh jeez. My eyes settled on Karin's bottom, as she moved up the steps. I wasn't thinking about it. I was just bored and got hypnotized by the switching of her buns.

I turn away from her and look to the village of Ame itself. We're five hundred feet up right now and there are still taller buildings around. My feet really hurt.

Was Ame's sky so angry, because the people in it, are trying to invade it. Amegakure is what happens when they try to make mountains with stairs-cases.

Karin finally stops before a door and opens it. I try to step inside, but she pushes me back out. Karin gives me a look of rage. Like a tigress, defending her cubs.

"WHOA! NO!" Karin angrily, shouts. "You think, I want that stench in here? Clothes off. Outside!"

"...Ugh..." I groan, but concede to her logic. Complying with her orders, I take off my shirt, pants and shoes.

"...Undies too..." Karin glares, with her hands on her hips.

"..." I am not-

"...Think I've never seen a naked man before? Don't flatter yourself" Karin crosses her arms, and sneers at me.

"...Aren't you going to turn around?..." I ask. I reached for my undies, but Karin wasn't turning away from me.

"HMPH!" Karin snuffs her nose at me and walks inside her apartment.

I sigh in relief. Get naked, cover my dignity with my gun and walk into her place sideways. Karin opens her bathroom door, then takes to laying on her bed.

I go in the bathroom, close the door behind me and turn on the shower. There is a load of perfume in her bathroom. At least, now I know I can cover the stench of the day with something more pleasant.

I shower and wash up. I can finally relax. I took my gun into the bathroom with me. I'm not about to leave a loaded gun where a mean and suspicious girl can take it.

I finish up. Wrap a towel around my waist, hold my gun behind my back and open the door. I spot Karin on the bed. Deeply kissing, a black-haired stranger. I notice a picture on her nightstand.

It's a picture of Sasuke Uchiha. Temari's suspicions were correct. Karin knew Sasuke. And the back of that guy's head resembled the Uchiha's.

I breath a sigh of relief. Case closed. Sasuke is cheating on Temari and I can go home now. Sasuke hears me and turns around. Damn it. That's not Sasuke.

"K-Karin-chan! Who is that! W-" Karin proceeded to kick, whoever that is, off of her.

He hits the floor. His black hair falls off. And spiky blonde hair is revealed. He was wearing a wig. I get a good look at the guy. Blue eyes and whisker marks.

"Ow! Karin-chan!" Blondy whines.

"Shut up!" Karin snaps at him. She sits on the bed and turns away from him.

"Who's he?" "Who's he?" Me and Blondy say at the same time.

"hmph! Introduce yourselves. Morons" Karin sneers and crosses her arms.

"...I'm Naruto. Nice to meet ya" Naruto said to me, rising up.

"..." I wondered if I should bother introducing myself. The girl, I need to investigate, is sitting right there...I give in, though. "...Shi-"

"Shikamaru Nara!" Karin answered for me. How did she know about me. "Don't think I didn't notice your fat friend, sneaking around!"

Oh Choji. He was pretty clumsy at the investigative parts of being a private investigator. Karin found a way to get to the private parts of him, as well...I'll rephrase that.

When Choji began looking into Karin. Karin noticed and started looking into him. This case just got more complicated. She could have found out about the other girls and told them.

"So does that mean you know where I can find Choji?" I asked. I held out a small hope she could be helpful in this.

"Tch! I don't know where that fatty, wandered off to" Karin grumbled.

"Ugh...what about you?" I ask Naruto.

"Sorry man. Haven't seen him" Naruto shrugged. "...So you're a stalker huh?" Naruto then asked me.

"...I'm-"

"He's a private investigator!" Karin answered for me, again. "Investigating me"

"...That's right" I don't try to fight it, if she already knows. Does she know who hired me, as well.

"So who hired you?" Karin asked. There's my answer. "Fatty wouldn't give it up. But how bout you?" She glared at me.

I just silently stared at her. She talked to Choji. She tried to get answers from him. But Choji's too upright to rat on his employer.

"He gave me the silent treatment too!" Karin stated. "But once I started cooking. His gums flapped faster, than a bird's wings. Barbecue's his favorite. Hmph!"

"...Ugh..." I groaned and facepalmed.

Oh Choji. She didn't have to look into him. He gave it up for a meal, dipped in barbecue sauce. If he ran into Ino, no doubt she could manage the same thing.

I may have failed, before I got started. If Ino was aware of me, because of Choji. The only thing I'm getting here, is a black eye and Community service.

This must be why Choji recommended me to Temari. Karin finds him. Karin feeds him. Choji talks. Choji fails the case. If the same thing happened with Ino. Then she beat the crap out of him. I should check Ame hospitals for my friend.

"Well! What's your price?" Karin growled, getting my attention. "To give up your employer"

I sigh at her question. The case is probably already screwed. Temari won't pay me, when I come back with nothing. This is so troublesome.

"What's your relationship with Sasuke?" I asked looking at the picture. I was basically showing her my hand, but...

"So this is about Sasuke-kun?" Karin said, defensively and with a blush.

Bingo. Choji didn't tell her that little tid-bit about Temari being Sasuke's girlfriend. So Karin at least didn't know why I was here.

"Are you his girlfriend?..." I straight up, ask her. I usually need photographic evidence as proof, but a verbal confirmation would speed things along.

"What did you-ah-oh-eh-humph!" Karin looked as flustered as a frightened deer.

"NO! SHE'S NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. SHE'S MI-" Naruto started shouting, but Karin got up and kicked him right in the face.

I hope he wasn't about to say 'she's mine'. It'd look sad, if she was beating on him and that was the case. Though they were kissing, when I walked in on them.

"Shut up, Naruto!" Karin snarled. "The only reason I put up with you. Is because, I like the way you feel. Understand!" She began smacking him in the face.

"Nothing more! Got it!" Karin angrily said to Naruto, with her hands gripping his collar.

I turn my attention away from them. I really didn't wanna hear a lovers spat. My eye catches the wig Naruto dropped earlier. It looks just like Sasuke's hairdo.

Karin likes Sasuke. Naruto likes Karin. Naruto wears a Sasuke wig for Karin. Karin kisses Naruto with Sasuke wig...ugh. Is Karin with real thing or just playing pretend.

"Excuse me!" I speak up. "Can I get some clothes, please" I almost beg.

The red-head stops assaulting the blonde and goes into a backroom. Naruto cleans himself up and sits on the bed. He sees Sasuke's picture. He frowns and turns it down.

That catches my attention. He clearly knows Sasuke. And judging from the sneer when he looked at the photo. He wasn't a fan. I might be able to get info from him.

Karin walks back out with a suit. She harshly tosses the clothes at my face. I walk back into the bathroom to get dressed. Karin has guy clothes in her apartment.

Is that because of Naruto or does she really see Sasuke on the side. I finish getting dressed. She gave me a tie with the suit, but I just leave it, on the door knob.

I open the bathroom door. The scene from before plays out in front of me, again. Karin and Naruto kissing on the bed. Naruto in a wig. They see me and Karin kicks Naruto off her.

"Alright. Your employer. You spilling?" Karin asked. Pretending Naruto didn't exist and going straight to business.

"...Fraid not. Sorry" I shrug.

"Really!...Not even for..." Karin reached under her bed. She pulls out a large stack of money. "...Five hundred thousand ryo"

Karin throws the money to my feet. I pick it up and run my fingers through the cash. Five hundred thousand all right. More money than I've ever made for a job.

"Choji didn't take it, huh?" I asked. I swat the palm of my left hand with the ryo. Thickest stack of cash, I've ever felt. It's like a brick.

"No. But...he was really stupid" Karin said. I flinch from her words. "You look smart. Like you wouldn't turn down an easy pay"

"Uh..." I sigh. She was right, of course. Easy money to speak a couple of words. That's right up my alley.

"...Sorry. No thanks, lady..." I throw the ryo on the bed. Choji recommended me for reason. If he didn't give up...Guess I won't either.

"...Going to be stupid, after all..." Karin crossed her legs and sighed.

Naruto takes a seat on the bed and takes out a cigarette. Before he can light it, Karin snatches it from his mouth. Naruto pulls out another and lights Karin's for her.

I see Naruto holding a gun. I twitch a little and instinctively reach for my own weapon...I don't have it. Panicking, I search my person, for my registered pistol.

"This ones, yours" Naruto spoke up, waving the gun in the air. Shit. When did he manage to take it.

"So..." Karin hummed. "...Feeling more talkative..."

Damn. I would rather not have to fight. Fighting is too much trouble. Karin started off with an aggressive aura to her. And Naruto disarming me without me knowing.

I'm not the best fighter ever. But I have options to get out situations where I'm unarmed and the opposition isn't. Karin's just laying flat out on the bed.

Naruto's just calmly smoking. He's not actively threatening me with the gun. Or even facing me. At least, that tells me Naruto isn't in a fighting mood.

I just got some new clothes. I don't want to ruin them with a scuffle. Karin has the look of an intellectual. And most likely loves being in control. There might be a peaceful solution.

"...shōgi..." I say.

"...What..." Karin asks, confused. "...The chess game?..."

"Yeah...Play me. Win. I'll tell you everything you want to know" I tell her. "Lose. And I walk out of here with the money. Without telling you anything"

shōgi is another hobby of mine. I would rather do that, than fight the two of them. Kind of an out-there gamble, on my part. She might not even own a shōgi board.

"Puh! Fine! shōgi it is" Karin replied, adjusting her glasses. "Naruto watch him. I'll go find my shōgi board"

Karin got up from the bed and walked into the back room. My gamble paid off. She is a shōgi player, after all. I'm not the best shōgi player in the world. But I do alright.

Naruto looked at me and frowned. I got a little nervous as Naruto grumbled and made faces. He started rocking on the bed and acting jittery.

He looks hot around the collar. And the way he glares at me, makes me think he's going to shoot me at any moment. After a while, Naruto stands up.

"You're looking for Sasuke right?" Naruto whispers to me.

"...Yeah..." I say. I raise my hands in surrender. He isn't pointing my gun at me, but I don't take chances.

"Look for a bar called the Cat Klub. Owned by Nekobaa" Naruto whispers. "On the third level"

He takes to pushing me to the door. Naruto opens the door and lets me outside. He stuffs my gun into my pocket and hands me a raincoat.

"Talk to a girl named Tamaki" Naruto advises me. "Our age. Brown Hair. Brown eyes. Pretty face...Nice pair of boobs" He grinned and blushed.

"Uh huh" I grunt. Painting myself a mental picture.

"She's the granddaughter of Nekobaa. They know Sasuke's family" Naruto continues explaining. "Now beat it! Will ya"

"...What are you helping me for?" I ask. I should just take info and go, but I'm curious.

"I'm trying to score, man" Naruto grinned. "Then you come along, with boring ass shōgi..."

I smile a bit. Put on the raincoat and turn around. I sigh first. I have to take the dreaded climb, again. Two hundred. That's how many steps I can see from here.

I take a hesitant step towards the stair case. Naruto stops me and turns me around. My hand is on my gun, under my coat. Just in case.

"Where are you going?" Naruto asks. He asks, like I'm an idiot. "Not from around here, huh?"

"No..." I say. I relax and stop gripping my gun.

"There's a lift, right around the corner" Naruto say, pointing his thumb to the left. "Only masochists, take the stairs heheh"

Or sadists leading naive detectives around. I think, but don't say. I turn around and make my way towards this lift. Naruto waves goodbye and shuts the apartment door.

Walking around a short ways, I find the lift Naruto was talking about. I step on to it and look for a down button.

In the distance, I can hear a familiar voice screaming and a loud banging sound. I sigh and feel a twinge of pity. Naruto's not scoring today. But Karin is kicking a field goal.

I find the control console and press the down button. The lift begins moving. I feel a little antsy by how flimsy it is. Just two thin platform beneath me and above me. With just cable wires, preventing me from falling fifty stories.

I take out a cigarette and light up. It helped calm me down. The lift creaks and shakes. I don't like it. But the lift continues going down. It creaks again. Louder, this time.

I hear a snapping sound. My heart rate elevates. My feet stop touching the floor. The wind picks up. Gravity grabs me and drives me towards the ceiling. The lift starts falling, with me it.

Dozens of floors pass by, as I descend. Ground floor is coming up, fast. I'm a dead man, soon.

Gravity has me pinned to the ceiling. I push away from the ceiling and look for an emergency stop or something. I see it on the console. The lift is falling too fast. I can't reach it.

I look out to the village. I have a clear view of the tallest building in Ame. There's a gigantic face atop it. Sticking it's tongue is out and smoking a pipe. It; the only witness to my imminent demise.

I hate Amegakure...

* * *

******A/N: Don't know if I'll let the characters keep their ninjutsu. Because gunfights on the ceiling, seem like too much fun to pass up. And some characters are rather intertwined with their powers.  
**


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